I Have The Will

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Created: 09 March 2017

This is such a lovely interview that was done by Judy Pearson.  In this interview, I am discussing my cancer journey.   I had the fortune of meeting Judy in 2015.  She was hosting a stage production for 10 women survivors of cancer.  I was selected for the Chicago production.  Judy herself is a cancer survivor and an amazing woman.  She is still holding these stage productions all throughout the United States.

Enjoy!

Tammi C. Walker 

How Our Excuses Mask Our Fear

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Created: 03 October 2016

Fear is a daunting emotion.  The stranger fact about fear is that it holds no merit.  I am in my 6^th year of life coaching and it has taught me a lot about people and where they are in life.  When I meet a client, pretty quickly I can tell if they are ready to change their life or not by the words they say.  If I am making suggestions with my client to make changes in their life and they retort back, “Well I would if I could but…” I already know what is likely to take place. Nothing.  I say this because people who are ready to make the leap, ready to change their life and sick and tired of being sick and tired, will not make one single excuse.  No pain does equal no gain.  Let me tell you about me right now and I am damn worn out.  I am in school with 3 classes and I am not really feeling this semester. I have an internship at a shelter. It is unpaid too.  Some days the shelter is not the easiest place to be.  I ask myself am I on the right track? Is this worth it?  Well guess what in too deep. I have invested too much money and I want to follow my passion of helping to make the world a better place, I have to press on.  I am being honest here, it has not been easy.  Actually the last week was rather tiring and I have not felt my best physically.  Taking the easy road does not serve us well.  It is a boring and safe life.  If it is something you really want to do, get out and do it.  Here are some tips below:

1.     What is the truth behind the fear that you have? Think it out and write it out. Deal with your fear.

2.      Talk less and do more. If it is something you want to do, by all means necessary just do it. Get on the internet and sign up for the class. The more you think about it the more you won’t do it.  I took an acting class years ago. It was very complicated and it really did not do much for me. I did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. But at least I gave it a try.

3.      Playing it safe does not work.  It makes life boring, dull and complacent. Try something different and do something different. Stepping out of your comfort zone gives you power, strength and it will raise your self-esteem.

4.      Do it alone.  I don’t depend on anyone to do anything with me.  I do it alone. I have been like this since a teen.  It is not anyone’s responsibility to go anywhere with you.  Get out and do it!

5.      If you have a great talent, want to advocate for a great cause, have time to help someone, go for it.  In this world, we are beat over the head with negative crap. The politics are wacky, media is strange and crime is on the surge. We need talented people that will give us greatness. We need advocates that believe in something.  If all of us can do just a little we will have done a lot for this world. 

As always, I believe in you.  I know you can do it.  Why? Because you are amazingly great!

Tammi C. Walker, Life Coach and Friend 

Why I Feel Having Gratitude is the Key to Life

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Created: 02 May 2016

The room was cold and the people there were 20-40 years older than myself.  I went to this room every month and had to sit in here for 3 hours each time. The room I was in was the chemotherapy room to fight cancer. I did not like going to that room because it reminded me of sickness.  The medicine that I was administered was making me feel sick and upsetting my stomach. I just simply felt weird after the medicine was given to me. Something so powerfully poisonous helped to save my life.  I am a proud lady and being sick was not in sync with being a young and vibrant 36 year old woman.  But I wanted to live. I had to live.  I have too much to be thankful for.  Three weeks later I was bald. A 36 year old woman with no hair.  Someone told me it is just hair.  I wanted to ask them to shave their hair off their head and give me a call letting me know how they felt afterwards.  Easy to say right?  This happened to me twice in 2007 and again in 2013. But because of the powers of God, I sit at my computer and I am typing this blog to you. Now I am healthy, strong and happy. Be grateful. Do you have your parents? I sure wish I did. Did you get to have kids? I wish I could have. Do you have a nice place to live, a car to drive?  What is going on with your legs? Do they work? What about your mind? Is it sharp and vibrant? Are you in good health and have you had your annual check up lately? Be ye grateful. It is 6:27 AM here outside of Chicago and it is something singing in my ear over and over and it is a bird. I love him or her. This bird is going crazy singing his or her little tune. Teaching me a lesson early this morning that I need to be happy to be alive. Okay little birdie I hear you and I am in agreement. Below are some of my reasons to have gratitude daily and think about yours too.  What are they?

1. I am alive- With life you can move mountains.  I can sing in the rain, dance,  hug my guy, watch my great nephews play and laugh with my funny nieces.  I can enjoy my amazing friends, I can attend class, I can give back to charity, I can.......I can do anything!
2. Someone is worst off than me- I may not have everything I want but I have everything I need.  My home is quaint but it is my little space. I really like it as I look around. I have reminders on my wall of being happy, live laugh love and this is my place.  I am grateful that I have a place to lay my head. When I drive downtown, I always feel sad when I see someone sleeping under lower Wacker drive.
3. My guy and family loves me- Gosh, I feel grateful that someone is checking for me daily. If he does not hear from me he is concerned. It truly warms my heart to be loved.  I have sisters checking for me daily or in 2 days they are looking for me. I feel warm and fuzzy. I am grateful for them.
4. My hair and hair stylist- Don't laugh now!  I have been bald twice. I wear my hair short and have for 20 years.  I love my hair. So glad to have it back. I love my hair stylist too! Okay so it is my lovely niece and I love her too. I look forward to my hair appointments because she makes my hair look so good but also I love seeing my niece. She is an amazing woman.   
5. I take vacations- Eddy and I love our vacations we live for them. We work very hard but play harder.  One of our favorites is the beach of Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  Unplug sometimes and see the sun.
6. Amazing friends- I have a colorful set of friends I think. Amazing people in their own right!  They are from the 1970's to present date. Smart, funny, health conscious, beautiful and unique.  I value my friends. They have great values, morals and beliefs.  I do not get to see my friends often but when I do, I cherish them.  Gosh I am lucky!
7. Open and flexible- I love taking a risk. I am a very open person.  But what I am grateful for is I don't mind a little bit of failure. Try and try again. If you don't fail, how can you succeed.  So what if a business deal does not work out or a career choice. Try something else.  I would rather try and it not work out than sit, ponder and wonder forever.  I love meeting people from all walks of life. I am flexible and it helps me maneuver through life.  I had to learn to be this way and it has helped me.
8. Opportunities and options - We are not powerless but empowered.  I and you have so many options right in front of us. We have to tap into them and explore. It will be risky and fun at the same time. You will feel empowered when you step out and try something new.

 None of us live the perfect life but often times we have it pretty good.  Take a look around and smell the roses and remember to be grateful for today.

I Will Be Happy When I Get My New…

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Created: 06 April 2016

Is your happiness predicated upon you getting a new house, relationship, losing weight, a new car, starting a family or a job promotion?  If so, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.  Happiness is an inward emotion and people, places and things only fill a void temporarily.  Once you acquire that “it”, you are off to your next thrill.

I remember being married over 15 years ago.  I thought once my ex-husband and I got our new house I would be happy. Then I thought once my wedding ring was upgraded I would be happy.  Then I thought well when I get a new truck, I will be happy. Ironically, none of the above things made me happy. The fact of the matter was that I was miserable.  I did not like being married and I was in an abusive marriage.  It took years of soul searching, anguish and just basically getting tired of myself to cause me to improve my way of thinking.  After the divorce, I still was on a path of finding myself and making sense of life. I was pressuring the guys I dated to make me happy. When things fell apart, I was very unhappy for days, weeks, months even years.   I finally figured it out after being divorced for 7 years.  I learned the following.

1. No one is accountable for my happiness but Tammi C. Walker.  I can’t blame others for financial problems, relationship woes, health issues, etc. I had to take 100% full responsibility for myself.
2. Life is what you make of it.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and count your blessings. When you have motor skills, a paycheck, a home, transportation, family and friends, you are quite fortunate.
3. Losing my mother and father, a few dear friends, some wonderful uncles, beautiful aunts, etc, it woke me up.  I see the fragility of life.  Make the most of each day given to you.
4. I never ever under any circumstances compare my life with someone else. I don’t think that another person has the best life and mine is not that great. We all are on our own path to happiness.
5. I was happy living in a studio apartment, I was miserable in a house.  Happiness comes from within. It does not matter where you live, what you drive, etc. If that defined us, why are celebrities so unhappy?
6. I love learning new things and trying something new. It keeps life fun, exciting and refreshing. Try a new dish, a new exercise class, buy a self help book, take a course in something fun. Be daring, be bold, be fun!!
7. I love volunteering and helping others.  If you are feeling sorry for yourself, like I was, get busy and help someone less fortunate.
8. Get moving and exercise.  You will feel awesome. Don’t over think it. Just go for a walk, do some jumping jacks. Simple things. No need to get a gym membership if you can’t afford it. Cable offers some great work out plans. Don’t make excuses get moving. After 40 years old, your body will thank you.
9. Look up. Talk to God and talk a lot less to people.  Listen to nature and clear your head.
10. Be excited about every day you wake up. Expect something great to happen and it will.

I will be happy when?  I had to learn to be happy with where I am now. I am happy with today.  Just glad to be alive.