I Will Be Happy When I Get My New…

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Created: 06 April 2016

Is your happiness predicated upon you getting a new house, relationship, losing weight, a new car, starting a family or a job promotion?  If so, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.  Happiness is an inward emotion and people, places and things only fill a void temporarily.  Once you acquire that “it”, you are off to your next thrill.

I remember being married over 15 years ago.  I thought once my ex-husband and I got our new house I would be happy. Then I thought once my wedding ring was upgraded I would be happy.  Then I thought well when I get a new truck, I will be happy. Ironically, none of the above things made me happy. The fact of the matter was that I was miserable.  I did not like being married and I was in an abusive marriage.  It took years of soul searching, anguish and just basically getting tired of myself to cause me to improve my way of thinking.  After the divorce, I still was on a path of finding myself and making sense of life. I was pressuring the guys I dated to make me happy. When things fell apart, I was very unhappy for days, weeks, months even years.   I finally figured it out after being divorced for 7 years.  I learned the following.

1. No one is accountable for my happiness but Tammi C. Walker.  I can’t blame others for financial problems, relationship woes, health issues, etc. I had to take 100% full responsibility for myself.
2. Life is what you make of it.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and count your blessings. When you have motor skills, a paycheck, a home, transportation, family and friends, you are quite fortunate.
3. Losing my mother and father, a few dear friends, some wonderful uncles, beautiful aunts, etc, it woke me up.  I see the fragility of life.  Make the most of each day given to you.
4. I never ever under any circumstances compare my life with someone else. I don’t think that another person has the best life and mine is not that great. We all are on our own path to happiness.
5. I was happy living in a studio apartment, I was miserable in a house.  Happiness comes from within. It does not matter where you live, what you drive, etc. If that defined us, why are celebrities so unhappy?
6. I love learning new things and trying something new. It keeps life fun, exciting and refreshing. Try a new dish, a new exercise class, buy a self help book, take a course in something fun. Be daring, be bold, be fun!!
7. I love volunteering and helping others.  If you are feeling sorry for yourself, like I was, get busy and help someone less fortunate.
8. Get moving and exercise.  You will feel awesome. Don’t over think it. Just go for a walk, do some jumping jacks. Simple things. No need to get a gym membership if you can’t afford it. Cable offers some great work out plans. Don’t make excuses get moving. After 40 years old, your body will thank you.
9. Look up. Talk to God and talk a lot less to people.  Listen to nature and clear your head.
10. Be excited about every day you wake up. Expect something great to happen and it will.

I will be happy when?  I had to learn to be happy with where I am now. I am happy with today.  Just glad to be alive.